Struggling...
struggling to get on with life...
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|---|
| [::..archive..::] |
| [::..check 'em out..::] |
| [Genome Project] |
| [Celestial Goddess] |
| [Kryptonite] |
| [Cool Case] |
| [Friendster] |
| [::.say what?.::] |
| "And all i can think about is you the way you say you love me too" |
| "if I can only love you in my dream, then let me be asleep forever... |
| "Love stands on weakness", "only weak people fall, they fall in love" - the profound truth of life |
| "nobody told me that you fell out of love from me, so I'm setting you free" |
|
| [::.verwirrung.::] |
| "Love can hope in reason with despair" |
| "I love you - those three words have my life in them" |
| "I'm officially missing you" |
| "love like you've never been hurt before..." |
| "sometimes the best is no damn good..." |
| "I wonder what it takes to earn your trust?" |
| "sometimes, when it's over... it's over!" |
|
[ Turn Table ]
I've been really wanting to have a turn table like make my own music and sh*t! huh?! but right now I dont have a single idea how I could get one but sure is it would be way too cool to have one. Dj spin that sh*t! let the mosh pit bounce!!!
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..............................................................
[ high voltage freestyle ]
dizzy
"I spread disease
with every words I burst
my rhymes are cursed
like how sick their verse's"
..............................................................
[ Behind Blue Eyes ]
LimpBizkit
No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes
And no one knows
What it's like to be hated
To be fated to telling only lies
But my dreams they aren't as empty
As my conscious seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free
No one knows what its like
To feel these feelings
Like i do, and i blame you!
No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain woe
Can show through
No one knows what its like
To be mistreated, to be defeated
Behind blue eyes
No one know how to say
That they're sorry and don't worry
I'm not telling lies
..............................................................
[ From the Inside ]
Linkin Park
i don't know who to trust
no surprise
everyone feels so far away from me
heavy thoughts sift through dust
and the lies
trying not to break
but i'm so tired of this deceit
every time i try to make myself
get back up on my feet
all i ever think about is this
all the tiring time between
and how
trying to put my trust in you
just takes so much out of me
i take everything from the inside
and throw it all away
cause i swear / for the last time
i won't trust myself with you
tension is building inside
steadily
everyone feels so far away from me
heavy thoughts forcing their way
out of me
i won't trust myself with you
i won't waste myself on you
waste myself on you
you
..............................................................
[ So Far Away ]
Staind
this is my life
its not what it was before
all these feelings i've shared
and these are my dreams
that i'd never lived before
somebody shake me
cuz i
i must be sleeping
now that we're here,
it's so far away
all the struggle we thought was in vain
all in the mistakes,
one life contained
they all finally start to go away
now that we're here its so far away
and i feel like i can face the day i can forgive
and i'm not ashambed to be the person that i am today
these are my words
that i've never said before
i think i'm doing okay
and this is the smile
that i've never shown before
somebody shake me cuz i
i must be sleeping
i'm so afraid of waking
please don't shake me
afraid of waking
please don't shake me
..............................................................
[ verwirrung of mind: ??? ]
how do you make someone feel how much you love her???
how do you show it???
knowing that you've done your best...
will there come to a point that she will realize it???
will the time come that she will learn to love me back???
or she'll never will...
how do you tell someone that you love her???
how do you tell it without sounding awkward???
what are the right words to say???
what are the right things to do???
what should i do???
God... I love her....
..............................................................
[ verwirrung of mind: ??? ]
how do you make someone feel how much you love her???
how do you show it???
knowing that you've done your best...
will there come to a point that she will realize it???
will the time come that she will learn to love me back???
how do you tell someone that you love her???
how do you tell it without sounding awkward???
what are the right words to say???
what are the right things to do???
what should i do???
God... I love her....
..............................................................
Kate...
.. .. ..
U U U
[ From The Heart ]
Another Level
I know you've heard these words a hundred other times before
And you've been hurt and so your heart has chose to close the door
Love broke your heart and brought you lies. Look in my eyes
You'll see a love that's deep and true. Tender and strong and all for you
You can trust this love. Honest, that's the honest truth
From the heart, I'm giving you everything, everything
From the heart I promise you that I'll be there
I'll be there to love you from the soul
I'm showing you all I feel, all I feel is
From the heart, from the heart
And when you reach for love you'll only need to reach for me
These arms will never let you down. They're staying around
I'll walk with you through every storm. I'll keep you safe,
I'll keep you warm And you'll have no doubt
You're the one I'm living for
From the heart (from the heart baby)
I'm giving you everything (oh) everything (giving you everything)
From the heart (my heart)
I promise you that I'll be there (I'll be there for you)
I'll be there to love you from the soul
I'm showing you all I feel, all I feel (I'm showing you)
All I feel (all I feel) is
From the heart, from the heart (from the heart)
I'll provide the love you need.
Just trust my touch
Believe in me I'll never make you cry
Givin' all I got with all I got inside
From the heart
I'm giving you everything, everything (giving you everything)
From the heart (from my heart)
I promise you that I'll be there (I'll be there to love you, love you, ooh)
I'll be there to love you (ohh) from the soul (my soul)
I'm showing you all I feel (all I feel) all I feel (all I feel) is
From the heart (the heart) from the heart
Ooh, from the heart, from the heart...
..............................................................
[ Falls On Me ]
Fuel
You see me hanging round
starting to swear about this black hole of a dark field
and silently within hands touchin skin sharp
breaks my disease and i can breath
and all of your ways
all you dream falls on me
it falls on me
and your beautiful sky
the light you breath
falls on me
it falls on me
i feel like a pain
it draws me in again
sqaushes all my worst of me
darkness in my veins
I never could explain
and i wonder if you have ever seen
and still believe
and all of your ways
and all that you dream
falls on me
it falls on me
and your beautiful sky
the light you breath
falls on me
it falls on me
am I that strong
to carry on
have i changed your life
have i changed my world
could you save me
..............................................................
[ quote ]
"more importantly I know that I messed up real bad, and I'd be willing to spend the rest of my life begging you to give me another chance because I'm so deeply in love with you and I know its definitely a kind of forever love... "em>
-from the movie Mr Deeds-
..............................................................
Kate....
[ Questions ]
Blaque
I wanna know why this feels so right
I wanna know why u hold me tight
Each and every night, it keeps me up all night
Thinkin about the things i like
Can't believe your in my life
I wanna know why ur the one
The things that they should have you've already done
God sent u straight to me
You make me wanna sing lalalalala
But when u look at me, do u see ur wife?
Can u picture us lovin' each other for life?
Are u playin' the role, just like the rest
These are the questions that i ask myself
If, another should come, who's finer than me
And she wanna take ur love away, would u leave?
Baby please answer these question
Could this be my whole fantasy
Maybe u could just be too good for me
If i don't wake then i won't see
Cuz if im not the one u met, then who is in me
In the mist of the tears how come, i love u more, and more, and more
I never longed for no one, yes its true
Seems like this questions keep me here with me
If u, really wanna be with me
Then ill say, i love u endlessly
One thing that i really wanna know
Will this end or will this grow
And now if u really be wanna be with
Ill love u endlessly
One thing that i really wanna know
Will this end or will this grow
..............................................................
[ There's No Easy Way ]
James Ingram
I held her close to me
'Cause I know she breaks so easily
And then I told her
But I knew no matter how I tried to console her
She's just do the best she could
But there are times the best in no damn good
And no matter how you try to be kind
There's always still a part of you you leave behind
When it falls apart
There's no easy way to break somebody's heart
I lied and told her she'd be fine
Though we both knew it was just a line
I had to do it
'Cause I'd a' said anytihng to help me get through it
Then she reached out for my hand
And her simple touch was more than I could stand
And I had to turn away
'Cause I knew all the hurt
That she was feeling I was feeling too
'Cause when it falls apart
There's no easy way to break somebody's heart
She could've gotten angry
And made me feel like a guilty child
But I realized that never was her style
I wanted her to hurt me
And not treat me like a friend
I wanted to to say there'd be someday
I'm come crawling on my kneeds to ask her back again
But she acted like a lady 'til the end
Oh, what a lady
I thought that she'd break down
But she smiled at me and never made a sound
And I guess she understood in her way
Cause her silence told me everything she could not say
When it falls apart
There's just no easy way
..............................................................
[ Heaven ]
Live
You don't need no friends
Get back your faith again
You have the power to believe
Another dissident, take back your evidence
It has no power to deceive
I'll believe it when I see it for MYSELF
I don't need no one to tell me about heaven
I look at my daughter and I believe
I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sun set and I perceive
You sit with them all night
Everything they say is right
But in the morning they were wrong
I'll be right by your side
Come hell or water high
Down any road you choose to roam
I'll belive it when I see it for MYSELF
I don't need no one
To tell me 'bout heaven
I look at my daughter and i believe
I dont need no proof
When it comes to God and truth
I can see the sun set
And I perceive
Darlin' I belive
That sometimes it's hard to breathe
At the bottom of the sea
I'll believe it when I see it for MYSELF
I dont need no one to tell me 'bout heaven
I look at my daughter and i believe
I dont need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sun set and i perceive
I dont need no one to tell me 'bout heaven
I look at my daughter and i believe
I dont need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sun set
I can see the sun set
I can see the sun set
I don't need no one
I don't need no one
I don't need no one
I don't need no one
To tell me 'bout heaven
..............................................................
[ Verwirrung of mind: Love ]
"You’ve given me enough obvious signs for me to move on and know that everythings thru between you an me… I just don’t get it. you can’t give me enough reasons to hold myself back and stop loving you…"
..............................................................
[ Starbucks Coffee ]
Starbucks Coffee at Robinson's Galleria
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[ I Don't Wanna Fall In Love ]
Tonya Mitchell
Who needs to feel that way
Who needs those words to say
Who wants to give their heart
To watch love fade away
Cause I made up my mind
I didnt wanna know
Why should i find a love
That isnt here to stay
I wasnt waiting until you came along
And now i need you to tell me
where my heart belongs
But i dont wanna fall in love
til i fall in love with you
and you showed me what my heart already knew
(my heart knew)
I dont wanna fall in love
Til I know the love is true
Cuz i need (cuz i need)
you to feel the way i do
when i give my heart to you
I've seen the tears they cry
When its time for goodbye
I didnt wanna be the one who's asking why
I didnt think that i would ever feel so strong
but now i know that i was wrong
Now i believe its worth the chance
to find the love to last (my life) for all my life
Give me a sign so i will always know this love is right
(this love is right)
..............................................................
[ Angel Eyes ]
"look into these eyes
you'll see how my heart cries
look into my soul
girl, you'll know you're my all
look deep into me
the angel eyes you'll see"
..............................................................
[ Verses ]
"Everybody hang on
everybody hold
I'ma spin my tongue
as the base line bangs!"
..............................................................
to someone... I'm officially missing you!
Oficially Missing You
Tamia
All I hear is raindrops
Falling on the rooftop
Oh baby tell me why'd you have to go
Cause this pain I feel
It wont go away
And today I'm officially missing you
I thought that from this heartache
I could escape
But I fronted long enough to know
There ain't no way
And today
I'm officially missing you
Oh can't nobody do it like you
Said every little thing you do
Hey baby say it stays on my mind
And I, I'm officially
All I do is lay around
Two ears full tears
From looking at your face on the wall
Just a week ago you were my baby
Now I don't even know you at all
I don't know you at all
Well I wish that you would call me right now
So that I could get through to you somehow
But I guess it's safe to say baby safe to say
That I'm officially missing you
Well I thought I could just get over you baby
But I see that's something I just can't do
From the way you would hold me
To the sweet things you told me
I just can't find a way
To let go of you
It official
You know that I'm missing you
Yeah yes
All I hear is raindrops
And I'm officially missing you
..............................................................
Daydream Believer
Mary Beth
Oh, I could hide 'neath the wings
Of the bluebird as she sings.
The six o'clock alarm would never ring.
But it rings and I rise,
Wipe the sleep out of my eyes.
My shavin' razor's cold and it stings.
Cheer up, Sleepy Jean.
Oh, what can it mean.
To a daydream believer
And a homecoming queen.
You once thought of me
As a white knight on a steed.
Now you know how happy I can be.
Oh, and our good times start and end
Without dollar one to spend.
But how much, baby, do we really need.
Cheer up, Sleepy Jean.
Oh, what can it mean.
To a daydream believer
And a homecoming queen.
Cheer up, Sleepy Jean.
Oh, what can it mean.
To a daydream believer
And a homecoming queen.
Cheer up, Sleepy Jean.
Oh, what can it mean.
To a daydream believer
And a homecoming queen.
..............................................................
:)
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THAT'S WHEN I'LL STOP LOVING YOU
N'sync
When winter comes in summer
When there's no more forever
That's when I'll stop loving you
That's when I'll stop loving you
I'm sure you've heard these words before
And I know it's hard for you to trust them once more
You're afraid it all might end
And a broken heart is scared of breaking again
But you've gotta believe me
I'll never leave you
You won't ever cry
Long as I am there
And I will always be there
You will never be without love
When winter comes in summer
When there's no more forever
When lies become the truth
You know then, baby
That's when I'll stop loving
That's when I'll stop loving you
Long as sunlight lights the sky
Light of love will be found in these eyes of mine (these eyes of mine)
And I will shine that light for you
You're the only one I'll ever give this heart to
What I'm trying to say is
Nothing will change this
There'll be no time
You won't find me there
'Cause I will always be there
You will always have all my love
When this world doesn't turn anymore
When the stars all decide to stop shining
'Til then, I'm
Gonna be by your side
I'm gonna be loving you forever
Ev'ry day of my life
(My life)
..............................................................
[Verwirrung of mind]
“he’s on the free throw line, jersey no. 12 of the blue team, the clock is dead but he doesn’t know it. The other team’s up by 1. He took a deep breath… releases the ball, No! missed it… squared for his last shot and… bang! Damn it! Missed it… they lost the game.” By that very moment the girl who’s destined to be a part of his life was watching. She doesn’t know his name but she sure likes him. On the other hand, he already knows her a month ago but he was not too eager to approach her. They both like one another, they just don’t know it. What a waste of time but destiny will soon come for the both of them….
Quote:
If you love someone you say it...
you say it right then,
out loud...
or the moment just...
passes you by.
-MY BEST FRIEND'S WEDDING
..............................................................
[summer ’03…now what?!]
ey, here I am again with nothing to do. been a long time since I posted one here. been really quite busy in school and I'm thankful that's its done now. I have this subject last sem that would require us to develop a system for a certain company... and its a hell of a job. never knew developing such system would demand so much of time and effort. I hardly went home with the sun still up in the sky. It was really hard. but Im glad its over now. Summer is here, and I wonder what is there for me to do?! Am I gonna clown around again? Nah… really don’t, just wish I could find a better way of spending time this summer. Almost all of my classmates are up for taking summer classes but me? guess not, I’m all straight up… neither do I want to take ‘em in advance. Well, I guess I’ll just sit back and relax… whole summer? Oh no…. but I guess I’ll be seeing my classmates as often as I could, coz there’s this girl…. A classmate and also a very close friend of mine… very close. Well, she’s been my inspiration ever since the school year started. Her name is Kate… guess I’ll be talking bout her here in the blog next time, I really wanted to keep a memory of her. For now, summer is here… and now what?
Quote:
“so to all who live to see such times… but that is not for them to decide, all you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you…” - Gandalf
..............................................................
..............................................................
[ Somewhere I Belong ]
Linkin Park
Somewhere I belong
(When this began.)
I had nothing to say.
And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me.
(I was confused.)
And I live it all out to find, but I'm not the only person with these
things in mind.
(Inside of me.)
But all that they can see the words revealed.
Is the only real thing that i got left to feel.
(Nothing to lose.)
Just stuck, hollow and alone.
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own.
I wanna heal, I wanna feel, What I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long
Erase all the pain til' it's gone
I wanna heal, I wanna feel, like I'm close to something real
I wanna find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong
And I've got nothing to say. I can't believe I didn't fall right down on
my face.
(I was confused.)
Look at everywhere only to find.
It is not the way I had imagined it all in my mind.
(So what am I.)
What do I have but negativity.
Cuz I can't justify the way everyone is looking at me.
(Nothing to lose.)
Nothing to gain, hollow and alone.
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own.
I wanna heal, I wanna feel, What I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long
Erase all the pain til' it's gone
I wanna heal, I wanna feel, like I'm close to something real
I wanna find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong
I will never know myself until I do this on my own.
Cuz I will never feel anything else until my wounds are healed.
I will never be anything til' I break away from me.
I will break away. I'll find myself today.
I wanna heal, I wanna feel, What I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long
Erase all the pain til' it's gone
I wanna heal, I wanna feel, like I'm close to something real
I wanna find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong
I wanna heal, I wanna feel, Like I'm Somewhere I belong...
I wanna heal, I wanna feel, Like I'm Somewhere I belong...
Somewhere I belong...
..............................................................
Inner Voices
Another Day
In a world which keeps on turning
With a hope of another day
A love that kept the good times
we were just kids at play
And through the warm of the summer sun
or a chill from the winter breeze
We have too much fun
and now its just a memory.
And now we must go on
and go our separate ways
with the strength of our past teaching
we can bring another day woooah.
I know its time to let you go
One last chance to let you know
Even though we're far apart
You will always be in my heart
I know its time to say goodbye
so many reasons at this time.
So many memories inside.
so many tears in my eyes
As another day passes by.
So here we are
On last chance to give
I know we will make it through
as long as we stand by each other
All our dreams will come true
as long as love another day
I another try to make it through
another chance for me and you.
And now we must go on
and go our separate ways
with the strength of our past teaching
we can bring another day woooah.
I know its time to let you go
One last chance to let you know
Even though we're far apart
You will always be in my heart
I know its time to say goodbye
so many reasons at this time.
So many memories inside.
so many tears in my eyes
As another day passes by.
..............................................................
[ Breathe ]
Greenwheel
I
Played the fool today
And I
Can see us vanishing into the crowd
Longing for home again
But home
Is a feeling I buried in you
I'm alright
I'm alright
It only hurts when I breathe
And I can't ask for things to be still again
No I can't ask for you
To offer the world through your eyes
Longing for home again
But home
Is a feeling I buried in you
I'm alright
I'm alright
It only hurts when I breathe
I'm alright
I'm alright
It only hurts when I breathe
My window through which
Nothing hides
And everything sings
I'm counting the signs
And cursing the miles in between
But home
Is a feeling I buried in you
That I buried in you
I'm alright
I'm alright
It only hurts when I breathe
I'm alright
I'm alright
It only hurts when I breathe
When I breathe
It only hurts when I breathe
When I breathe
It only hurts when I breathe
..............................................................
[ If You're Not The One ]
Daniel Bedingfield
(OST: Maid in Manhattan)
If you’re not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you’re not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all
I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
If I don’t need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don’t need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you’re not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you’re not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?
I don’t know why you’re so far away
But I know that this much is true
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you’re the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life
I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
‘Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
‘Cause I love you, whether it’s wrong or right
And though I can’t be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side
I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
..............................................................
[ Bring Me To Life ]
Evanescence
How can you see into my eyes
like open doors.
Leading you down into my core
where I've become so numb.
Without a soul
my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold
until you find it there and lead it back home.
Wake me up.
Wake me up inside.
I can't wake up.
Wake me up inside.
Save me.
Call my name and save me from the dark.
Wake me up.
Bid my blood to run.
I can't wake up.
Before I come undone.
Save me.
Save me from the nothing I've become
Now that I know what I'm without
you can't just leave me.
Breathe into me and make me real
Bring me to life.
[Chorus]
Bring me to life.
I've been living a lie
There's nothing inside.
Bring me to life.
Frozen inside without your touch,
without your love, darling.
Only you are the life among the dead.
All of this sight
I can't believe I couldn't see
Kept in the dark
but you were there in front of me
I've been sleeping a 1000 years it seems.
I've got to open my eyes to everything.
Without a thought
Without a voice
Without a soul
Don't let me die here
There must be something wrong.
Bring me to life.
www.evanescence.com
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[ Out of my League ]
Stephen Speaks
It's her hair and her eyes today
that just simply take me away
and the feeling that i'm falling further in love
makes me shiver, but in a good way
All the times i have sat and stared
as she thoughtfully thumbs through her hair
as she purses her lips
bats her eyes
and she plays with me
sitting there, slack-jawed and nothing to say
Chorus:
Cos i love her with all that i am
and my voice shakes
along with my hands
Cos she's all that i see and she's all that i need
and i'm out of my league once again
It's a masterful melody
when she calls out my name to me
as the world spins around her
she laughs, rolls her eyes
and i feel like i'm falling
but it's not surprise
Cos it's frightening to be
swimming in this strange sea
but i'd rather be here than on land
yes she's all that i see
and she's all that i need
and i'm out of my league
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[Let Me Be The One ]
Jimmy Bondoc
Somebody told me you were leaving
I didn't know
Somebody told me you're unhappy
But it doesnt show
Somebody told me that you dont want me no more
So you walking out the door
Nobody told me you've been crying
Every night
Nobody told me you've been dying
but didnt want to fight
Nobody told me that you fell out of love from me
So I'm setting you free
Chorus:
Let me be the one to break it up
So you wont have to make excuses
We dont need to find a set up
Where someone wins and someone loses
We just have to say our love was true
But has never come alive
So im telling you "i love you" one last time and...
Goodbye
Somebody told me you still love me
I dont know why
Nobody told me that you only needed time to fly
Somebody told that you want to come back when
Our love is real again
Just turn around and walk away
You dont have to leave like this
But if you love me still then stay
Dont keep me waiting for that final kiss
We can work together through this test
Or we can work through it apart
I just need to get this off my chest
That you will always be in my heart
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[ Letting Go ]
Vhentetres
Smile for me and me alone
As I leave now for the most unknown
Let me, for the last time, say your name
For now things aren't going to be the same
The pain inside is tearing me apart
But I've got to act brave while its breaking me apart
I loved you once and I still love you so
And that's the reason I'm now letting go
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