Struggling...

[ confused...?! ]

this day turn out to be one of those days that you wouldn't expect that something great would happen. It all started when I texted Marie the other night, she called me up and we've talked for almost an hour. She asked me if she could see the video of my birthday, so today she went to my house with Pam. It was great, coz I never knew she'd be back in my house so soon. We did watched the video, and she also looked at the pics. I bought her an ice cream coz that was what she was craving for the last time we've talked. I bought her the double dutch thing coz that is her favorite and I still havent forgotten bout it. We also watched a movie just to kill time, and you know what's the best part of it? she was the one who's feeding me that ice cream... how sweet! and I'd wish that the day would never end. It was so nice having her beside me and I just feel so happy! she also gave me her latest pic with dedication, at the moment I have 4 pics of her in my wallet. guess I really I'm still in love with her. I also gave her the cd the I have made for her. The songs there are great, those are the songs that reminds me of her. well, the time doesnt time, so she went home at about 6pm. Just wish that I could get her to stay a li'l bit more. Wish I could freeze the time and make that last forever... right now I'm just so happy being with her again... though it left me asking myself again. "why can't it be the two of us?", "why does it has to end?", those are the questions that I have for now. Its a crazy thing, but I'm just so happy right now. I also let her listen to the song that I dedicated to her, the song "When I see you smile" by Uncle Sam. I love that song. right now, I know I'm confuse again on the things I should do. really dont know, its hard to explain. All I know is that I love her still but I just cant let see that... or is it just that she doesnt want to see it, she's been denying it to herself that I really love her. I dont know. Guess I really have to move on... and find someone else. she told me that I should find someone who would take care of me, what she doesnt know is that it's her whom I want to take care of me. I really dont know why things should be left the way they are...

"when I see you smile, I could face the world.... "

posted by: Dizzy (",) 7:52 PM


..............................................................

[ When I Talk To You ]
Mandy Moore

Remember me
Feels like forever
Since the days
When we were friends
I don't understand
All these changes
I'm still the same
No need to pretend

Where'd it go..?
Do you know..?
Maybe it just doesn't matter

'Cause when i try to talk to you
I feel like I'm not getting through you
Where did we go wrong
It's hard to be strong
When I talk...
When I talk to you

There were times
In the beginning
When you were there
When I needed you most
We'd sit and talk
About the future
And laugh about
Us getting old

Do you know
How it feels
I hope that you know that it matters

But when i try to talk to you
I feel like I'm not getting through you
Where did we go wrong
It's hard to be strong

When I talk to you
I want you to know everything that I am
Don't want to know what life would be without you

posted by: Dizzy (",) 1:53 PM


..............................................................

December 12, 2002

[ Inner Voices ]
Another Day

In a world which on turning
With a hope of another day
A love that kept the good times
we were just kids at play

And through the warm of the summer sun
or a chill from the winter breeze
We have too much fun
and now its just a memory.

And now we must go on
and go our separate ways
with the strength of our past teaching
we can bring another day woooah.
I know its time to let you go
One last chance to let you know
Even though we're far apart
You will always be in my heart
I know its time to say goodbye
so many reasons at this time.
So many memories inside.
so many tears in my eyes
As another day passes by.

So here we are
On last chance to give
I know we will make it through
as long as we stand by each other

All our dreams will come true
as long as love another day
I another try to make it through
another chance for me and you.

And now we must go on
and go our separate ways
with the strength of our past teaching
we can bring another day woooah.
I know its time to let you go
One last chance to let you know
Even though we're far apart
You will always be in my heart
I know its time to say goodbye
so many reasons at this time.
So many memories inside.
so many tears in my eyes
As another day passes by.

posted by: Dizzy (",) 4:41 PM


..............................................................